Ayahuasca, bitcoin and freedom with @BlackDogAlchemy

Bitcoin is close to becoming worthless.

Let's go!

Now, what's the Bitcoin? Bitcoin's like rat poison. Yeah. Oh. The greatest scam in history. Let's get it. Bitcoin will go to fucking zero.

Alright, you ungovernable misfits. I'm your host, Max. Everybody knows that Bitcoin is useless, worthless, and doomed to fail. But what if everyone's wrong? What if it's the system that is doomed to fail?

Join me as I speak to some of the brightest people in the space, and deliver to the deepest, darkest depths of the Bitcoin rabbit hole. Welcome back, everyone. Today's episode is with Jay, otherwise known as Black Dog Alchemy.

We covered loads of different topics today, including ayahuasca, yoga, Bitcoin, meditation, and self-improvement. I first met Jay back when we had peak COVID hysteria. At the time, I was trying to think of ways to leave the UK.

I'm really concerned about my family, forced vaccinations, and whether we'd even be able to go to the local shop. It was a very difficult time, and during that time, the Mechterbell was a great place to meet like-minded people who care about freedom, family, and self-sovereignty.

I really hope you enjoy this show, and I want to thank everyone who's been reaching out and messaging me, everyone who's been screaming sats through the podcasting 2.0 apps. I really do appreciate it.

And also, everyone who's been supporting the show by going to ungovernablemisfits.com. We've been working hard to make sure we have the highest quality clothing, articles, documentaries, and audio.

If you have any suggestions or you want to give me some feedback, I'd really appreciate it. You can reach out to me via Twitter or using the email in the show notes. Before we start the show, I want to thank my show sponsors.

Let's start with Casa. Casa are making it so simple for anybody to use multi-six security. You can do this from as little as $10 a month. And if you use my code bit by bit10, that will actually get you another 10% off.

With this option, you can use a burner email and you can use a NIM. So if you're following privacy best practices and you are using a VPN and you're using post-mix or KYC free sats that aren't tied to your identity, this is a very good option for somebody who doesn't yet feel 100% comfortable with setting up their own multi-sig.

And this is something you can always think of doing in the future. I've used them for well over a year now. I've been very happy with their service. And if anyone has any questions, they want to reach out.

Ask me about the trade-offs. I'll be more than happy to help. Go to keys.casa and check them out today. Next up, we have fast Bitcoins. They make it really easy for anybody to buy Bitcoin.

What I really like is that they force people to take these sats off exchange and you can do that on-chain or via lightning. They take security very seriously and if you are going to trust an exchange with your sensitive information, you really need to make sure that you are using a team that are competent and capable.

I really like the team and although I suggest to everybody, use no KYC services if you can. I also know realistically some of you won't or won't do it all the time. For those occasions, I really do suggest you check out fastBitcoins.com.

And finally, foundation devices. Foundation devices make my favorite hardware. The passport. They now have their second edition out and it is absolutely gorgeous. I'm yet to have it in my hands, but I cannot wait.

I've seen all the pictures, read through all the documentation and had a couple of podcasts with Bitcoin Q&A and with Zag to talk more deeply on the product. So if you have missed those, go and check them out.

If you're in the market for a hardware wallet, you really want to make sure that this thing is open source, well made, built to last, and has all the features that you would want, including PSBT and QR scanning.

The passport has all of this and more. If you haven't already checked it out, go to foundation devices.com and use the code bit by bit to get $10 off. That's it for the ad reads. Enjoy the show.

Jay, how you doing, mate? - I've come mate, here are you? - Yeah, really good. Am I coming through clear? - Yeah, yeah, you sound great. - Excellent. Now this has been a long time coming.

(laughs) - Yeah, it does indeed, isn't it? It's been coming a bit tricky at times with the busy schedules and the massive time difference. - Yeah, that doesn't make things easy. I have to say, I was quite happy 'cause you were like, oh, I think can we do like 8 a.m.

And I'm really not a morning person. And I was like, oh fuck, I'm really not looking forward to that. I was like, oh, I'll get up a bit early, walk the dog and then get some coffee at me.

And then when you said, oh, I actually 11, and I was like, okay, thank God for that. That's so much more than this guy. (laughs) I'm a bit more awake. - No, that's good. I'm glad, well, thanks for accommodating me as well 'cause it's been a back and forth trying to work out, but it's good to finally speak to you properly.

- Yeah, definitely. And so you've been on a retreat recently and all sorts of other bits. And yeah, it's been a while since we, since we last caught up. So yeah, what's been happening? - Yeah.

So, well, I've done, yeah. So last weekend, I did another ayahuasca retreat. That would have been my, I think it was probably like my 20th ceremony that I attended over, I mean, that's over like 14 years and there were a few breaks in there as well.

So I did five in the UK and then I've done seven over here. Like when I say seven, it's like a weekend. So you do a Friday and Saturday night drink ayahuasca and then on Sunday you drink POT.

And I've done a couple of, altogether it's like 20, 20 ceremonies anyway. So I did another one last weekend, which was huge actually, was a really big one. It's surprising after all these years still going back to do ayahuasca and there's more.

It's like an onion. It just, you keep pooing off the layers and you just discover more stuff. - And so when you're going for these, you're obviously like, I mean, I've never done it personally.

I'm really interested in it and a few people that I've spoken to over the years, just rave about it and say how much it's changed their lives and everything else. And I think there's like a, maybe not so much in the Bitcoin community and people who have their eyes open a little bit more and more open to it.

But I think a lot of people just seem to have this idea. It's just people going to get high and just like seeing that shit, you know what I mean? And it's like, it seems like it's so much deeper than that.

It seems like there's a huge amount of benefit to doing it and that it seems it changes people's perspective massively. Is that what you've found over the years? - Oh, yeah, yeah, 100%. I mean, to be honest, I mean, I realized this on the weekend that I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for Alaska.

It's been that life-changing for me. And I don't think I really appreciate it until this last ceremony. And yeah, I mean, it's not easy by any stretch. And the whole weekend was really tough.

I mean, it's incredibly beautiful. And but it's certainly not a party thing. I certainly wouldn't call it a drug. It's definitely a medicine. The therapeutic benefits of it are incredible.

I mean, I met so many people from so many different backgrounds, with so many different issues that they bring to the ceremony and to the medicine that you couldn't say that it's something that people just do for kicks or anything like that.

Because it confronts you with the best and the worst parts of yourself and the things about your life and things about the world, things you need to do. It's like a year's worth of psychotherapy in one night.

And it's very cleansing and therapeutic in that regard. Yeah, like, I mean, the last one for me was very much of the general theme was about acceptance. A lot of it was about the past and the future.

And I mean, it's different for everybody, but just to give you a sense of what that for me, this last one was about, it was very much about the past and the future. Closing the door on the past and then really stepping into the present and looking forward to the future.

And it felt like I had to work through a lot of stuff through about my past, about acceptance of myself and other people and its situations and forgiveness of myself and other people and situations and missed opportunities.

And it's a very emotional experience. Now, you do see like fucking crazy shit while you go into really state. I mean, there's no, you can't deny that fact. I mean, some people don't actually, but I do, it's incredible.

The active ingredients in it is DMT. So DMT is incredibly powerful, psychedelic. And when you, when you drink it, the combination is what, there's a MAO inhibitor, which allows the DMT to be digested into your system.

So the visuals, so everything comes on quite gradually, but it's very powerful when it kicks in and you can have between one and three, four cups, maybe through the course of a night, depending on how you're traveling, how you're journeying at the time.

Yeah, so the visual aspect of it is like, yeah, you know, if people are familiar with like tool and the work of Alex Gray, you're kind of, people have a sense of what kind of things that you see.

It's very geometric and iridescent. You kind of see like spirits, you know, sometimes these spirits that come, I've seen some like indigenous folk who come and like, look at, examine me, kind of look at me.

Other people see snakes and like very sort of Amazonian kind of things. I've never seen anything like that, but it was very like otherworldly, what you're actually, usually this is with my eyes closed.

Very rarely do I have my eyes open and I see something within the room, but you've got an incredibly heightened sense when you do open, when you have got your eyes open. But on top of this, you're getting all this visual experience.

And at the same time, you're getting these insights about yourself and your past and things that you want to do and look at this ceremony last year and it's incredibly political. Obviously with COVID and everything going on, there was lots of stuff about homeschooling and growing vegetables and building community.

And I was getting, so you kind of get these insights that are coming to you, it's really weird because your brain kind of like your mind kind of like fractals. So you can kind of, you've seen all these visuals and then there's another part of your brain that's receiving these messages and insights.

Then there's the other part of your brain that's going to go in, oh fuck, this is really interesting. Okay, well, I didn't think about that. And then there's another part of your brain that's like running over the past.

So your brain kind of like your mind kind of splits into like four or five different pieces that are all active at the same time. - There must be very good for, I mean, one thing I really noticed about you very quickly when we started speaking was you seem to, you spend a lot of time with like introspective thinking and that's quite rare.

And I like it when people do that because they generally are a better rounded character. It seems like what you said from your last trip and do you call it a trip or a journey or whatever you call it?

But I think that was around the time that we first started speaking or maybe just after that because it was that COVID time we met in the Mechedel. - That's right. - That was where a strong focus of the Mechedel at the time was agriculture, having chickens, growing your own veg, homeschooling.

And a lot of that was very much on all of our minds because we were sort of seeing what was happening with all the COVID hysteria. And we were like, I mean, if I look, if I think back to how I was thinking then, I was like, I might have to flee this country.

Things could well go that bad. I'm almost certainly going to have to completely drop out of society and do something so that I can look after my family and make sure that they're fed because I don't know if I'm going to be allowed to go and buy food anymore.

So these thoughts, it was really dark time. But what was amazing is that we had this group of people who were growing ideas and helping each other and supporting each other. And it seems like maybe that was just the perfect time for you to come into the Mechedel when all of that was on the top of your mind after this journey.

- Yeah, yeah, definitely. It was very fortuitous really. So I hadn't done, so I hadn't been to an eye of Oscar ceremony in three years because circumstances just didn't really allow it. And then with all the COVID bullshit, and we were in, so I live in Australia now, obviously I'm from England, but I live just north of Melbourne.

And we had back-to-back lockdowns over like five cases, which was fucking comical really. But same thing as you, you know. It kind of the whole thing. So like, I've always been someone who's been more of an anarchist or a libertarian.

But then for a long time, I was like, and particularly around like, since I was a kid, I studied sociology and even way back to when I was like 14 and I saw Bill Hicks on late night TV in the UK on his revelations, stand-up gig.

And I saw that when I was like, I think I'd just turned 14 at the time and it fucking blew my mind, not Bill Hicks has been such a massive influence on me. And his like political rants just exploded my brain to this whole world from a kid from a working class, small working class town in the West Midlands of England.

And then you sort of see Bill Hicks, and it's like fuck and he's talking about LSD and he's talking about Lucky Rack and the arms deals and all these kind of shows up fuck. So like, I've always been that way inclined.

And then I kind of put it kind of put it to one side of it. You know, I've got kids and you just kind of, you know, moved to Australia. It's kind of whatever. And then as soon as COVID kicked off and it kind of makes you, it woke me up again.

I got, I got, I got double red pill. So you take the extra red pill. There's so many fucking layers. You just like keep jumping on red pills 'cause you think you've got one level then you just keep going deeper.

So we call it black pill. Yeah, I took a, I took a, I've jumped on a few of those fucking black pills mate. Yeah, I mean, yeah. And so like I've not done, so I had an opportunity to go back and do ceremony.

And I was in actually pretty good space. Like the, all the COVID shit, it just, it just exposes to me, exposes the system for what it actually is and what they think about us and how it very easy is for an alleged liberal democracy to very quickly slip into an authoritarian state within fucking days.

Like people take their freedoms for granted and people who create, people are far more compliant than I feared they were. And so I had the opportunity to go to ceremony again after three years.

And yeah, I sort of, it helped me reconnect with myself and there was a large part of myself that I'd kind of forgotten about or just to been, I don't know, like lost along the way of, you know, life having kids and like saying moving and work and whatnot, and it was just such a beautiful experience

to, and also to meet a lot of people who were like-minded. You meet so many awesome people at ceremony, people that own their shit and they were doing the work, doing the hard work to be better people.

And I sort of came out of it and then, yeah, I ran that time then I sort of stumbled across, I think I started with, so like I just got sorry, I don't want to jump around too much, but so I discovered- - No, no, that's a good question.

- We've got time. - Discovered the Meche D'Dell. Around the same time that I'd kind of discovered the Bitcoin community in general through Twitter, which I just didn't know existed. It was such a breath of fresh air and it was so renewed my faith in humanity to connect with people like you and the other guys in the Meche D'Dell

and people listening to other Bitcoiners on podcasts and laser-hodle and Breedlove and John Vallis and all these kind of people. It helped join up lots of dots. As the world was being turned upside down, I kind of found that I could join different dots

between government overreach and self-sovereignty and personal development and individual responsibility and all these kind of things just kind of linked together and then Bitcoin just kind of was the hope amongst all of it.

- Yeah, it's amazing how all these things link together. And I'm not surprised that a lot of people, even if they lean towards anarchist way of thinking when they're younger and then you have kids, you get a job, you do everything else, you have to integrate into society to such an extent that you just go, well, it is the way it is.

And I don't know how to fix this myself, like a protest don't work. So what the fuck am I gonna do? And then a lot of people will certainly me just go, "Well, I'm gonna chase the money. I'm gonna chase that because then it gives me more opportunity to do more of what I want and more opportunity to say fuck off."

And so you can, I mean, the more money you have, the more time you have, the more ability you have to say fuck off. And it's such a lovely thing to be able to say. And so I think finding Bitcoin joins those dots for so many people like that because it's an actual solution to a problem that otherwise, I don't think could be fixed.

There's nothing with so much like asymmetric power that can just take from these fucking lunatics. And so I think that's why so many people, once they find Bitcoin, just get so pulled in because it's like, oh, shit.

Okay, you know, this can actually solve this problem. And what does it solve around that? It's like, okay, well, then I'm gonna focus more on my health and I'm gonna focus more on my family.

And if the money's so fucked and that's so corrupt, then what else is corrupt? And then COVID comes along. You're like, oh, well, even medicine is completely corrupt. So if government is corrupt and school is corrupt and medicine is corrupt and money is corrupt and all the politicians are corrupt

and all the wars are corrupt and everything like, well, what isn't corrupt? And then so you have to just start from literally, right? Who am I and what am I doing? What do I wanna do in life and what do I wanna do for my family and then work outwards?

And you quickly find that like, shit, everything's corrupt, everyone's corrupt and you just wanna try and find a little tribe and find a little bit of truth. And I think that really just keeps pulling me back in.

And it's refreshing because you feel like, well, we could win now. - Yeah, yeah, 100%. Yeah, the COVID thing's been the ultimate demolition for a lot of people of accepted worldviews, let's say, like accepted narratives about the way the world works.

And there's a lot of stuff that I already knew, but then it was kind of, once I theoretical, but it was relatively academic. It's like, you know, all these structures are fucked and the global financial systems destined to collapse.

But, you know, 2008 happened with a financial crisis and I was living in London at the time and I worked in property, in social housing, but I was involved in, for profit properties. And yeah, I mean, that was a big eye opener to the financial system and the way, the way that the whole system works.

But then, for years afterwards, sort of reading articles on zero hedge and whatever else. And it's like, all right, it's gonna collapse now, it's only a matter of months. Oh, there's something, like nothing ever did.

And you need to kind of come in, but like it felt like eventually, like a couple of years go by and you're like, well, I better just carry on with my life then, I suppose. 'Cause I'm kind of waiting for this fucking, you know, thing to collapse.

And then, you know, I started getting into a little bit of prepping back then. 'Cause it kind of, yeah, it felt like it was imminent from a lot of what the stuff I was reading. And I didn't really give a system and have credit as to how far down the road they could keep the can.

Yeah. So like, you know, then when COVID kicks off, I was like, fuck, like me and my brother talk about it a lot. I was like, I can't believe that this is it now. Like, I can't believe we're actually living through this shit 'cause this won't end here.

This just carries on now. And like, especially when I love calling them the elites, but those cons at the top, yeah. Those cons at the top. Yeah. So they've tasted blood now and they know how far they can take it.

And I know there's a large portion of people that are compliance and NPCs effectively. God bless them. But like, and I think that they won't stop with this now. And it doesn't end. So like kind of when COVID all happened, it was like, okay, this is not surprising.

I think for a lot of people who probably weren't necessarily that aware about the financial system. And I mean, I'm not massively afraid of it. I'm not a massive intellect in that regard.

But I know what I know, I know a few bits. But some of the people are just like, consensus reality, the news is fact and they're relaying information. And it's not opinion. It's like, they're trying to uncover the truth.

And you've got the left and the right. You know, like, this is the kind of that, and the politicians are well-meaning. And then I think for a lot of people, a lot of people I've spoken to, or the wizard has been revealed behind the curtain.

And that's an incredibly disturbing experience. Like neo in the matrix when he gets unplugged from me. It's like so disorientating. Because all the framework and structure that you've understood the world through, the entire frame that you see the world through, has just been completely or starting to be demolished.

And that's such a black-pilling, disorientating experience. You can only hope that more people, I mean, my experience is that more people are trying to find other like-minded people. And not just for like confirmation bias that like we're all on the same page, but actually trying to find other critical thinkers

who question the narrative and don't believe what they're being told. It's like, if they've lied to us for the last two years about this, and so fucking blatantly as well, what else have they lied about historically?

Like, the point where you're like, I can't fucking trust, like going back to your point, it's like, I can't fucking trust anything I've been told. I can't trust a single fucking thing. - Yeah, I don't trust anything.

It is, and it's very draining. - Yeah. I don't know if you found the same. It's like, the fact that every single decision, every single thing that you're told, you have to fact check. And then fact checking is really hard 'cause it's like there's just so much information everywhere.

And there's people who are 100% sure on both sides. And so the truth normally lies somewhere in the middle. And then trying to get to it, it's exhausting, especially when the average person around you completely disagrees with everything you say.

And that's why, you know, the Mestadel, the Bitcoin community has been literally like a lifesaver because otherwise who do you talk to? Who do you bounce ideas off? Who do you think about these things with?

Because there's nobody else. And even the most basic idea that doesn't fit within the narrative of what people have been told, even if it's not to do the finance or the medical side or anything like that, people will go crazy, like literally yesterday.

So I did a podcast with this guy, really cool British guy, Bitcoin, who had autoimmune issues, like really, really bad. And he couldn't work anymore. Like it affected him so badly. He just completely destroyed his life.

And the doctors basically said, "Well, there's nothing we can do for you after a few years like that's it." And so he went on this carnivore diet and he's been on it for three years, I think he said now.

And he said, "I feel the best of ever felt absolutely no issues at all sensation in my hands and everything has all come back. I feel great, I feel amazing." And I said to my mum the other day, I was like, "Oh yeah, it's amazing.

This guy told her the story." And it's just really amazing. He's like, you know, feeling back in his hands and he can work again. Told her how it had fixed things for him. And I said, she's got a few sort of similar issues.

And so I finished like doing this, telling her about it. And she just goes, "Hmm." (laughs) And I was like, "What do you mean, hmm?" Like, "What's your thoughts on what I've just said to you?"

"Well, no, no, no." And just like said, "No, like six times." And then just like walked the other way and I was like, "Okay, all right then." And that's like, that's the experience that I get often with anything that doesn't fit the narrative.

And I was speaking to a guy the other day who's a, what's it called, a hypnotist. And what he said is when people are brainwashed, when people are sort of fed a certain narrative, if that narrative is then attacked, they feel like they're personally being attacked.

So even if, yeah. So even if they don't have any idea what you're talking about really, they haven't actually given it any thought. It could well be right. It could help them a lot and help their lives in so many ways.

That little bit of information, if they just listen, what they'll do is they'll attack it instead. And after you said that, like I've noticed, I've noticed this in all walks of life. And it makes me feel more and more that people really are being literally brainwashed.

I actually think that that's what's happening when people are watching the news, when people are going along, when they're sitting and they're watching these politicians talk about war or inflation or whatever it is that they're talking about, I feel like there's a way that these people are being programmed and it's got to the point now

where they don't come out of this. And it's a really hard thing to accept. It's really hard to just go, I'm not actually even in a waste of my breath anymore. I'm not actually at a dinner table going to get involved with any conversation because unfortunately, everything that everyone thinks I think almost the opposite.

And so it's really hard. Like, what do you do there? You just have to just sit and I just hum along in my head now. That's all I do. Like, well, I don't have a eucope with it. (laughing)

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I mean, I tend to, like I just refuse to get into conversation about COVID or the government response because I don't want to waste my energy trying to, I don't know what I'm trying to achieve by doing that.

If I think someone's like on the fence with stuff, I'll probably ask them questions to see what they think and then maybe we'll talk about it then if I think it's someone who's willing to have a...

I don't expect everyone to agree with everything I'll say. I just expect to have, I hope to have open and curious conversations with people where they're willing to say it. Oh, that's interesting.

I've never thought about that. Well, I don't really believe in that, but that's really interesting. You know, it's like people used to do having a normal conversation with... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or even where you can say, like hold a sort of nuanced idea in your brain and say, well, I don't really know but my suspicion is this and there's lots of elements that play. And the world's become, thanks to, largely thanks to social media, I think the world's just become so black and white.

And it's very, you know, it's all awesome then. So, yeah, so going back to your question, how do I deal with it? I just don't try not to engage with any of that stuff. And I'm quite lucky because where we live, I mean, my family are all on the same page, thankfully.

So that's a real blessing 'cause I know a lot of people have lost friends and family. So we've lost friends, but we've solid with a family. But because we're in our own little bubble here and thankfully over the last, COVID's actually been a real a blessing as much as a curse because it's really forced us to find other families

who are, have got varying different opinions, but all love freedom, basically. And just wanna be fucking left alone. And don't trust the establishment. Don't trust the government. Don't trust the pharmaceutical industry.

Don't touch the media. And certainly not anymore. And so we're finding lots of people that we can actually have, don't even talk about this stuff all the time. You know, we're just talking about like the kids and what food are you growing and you know, are you going to this event or that event?

You know, it's great. But even when I'm with those people, like I don't, I try not to talk about politics in particular because it's just fucking tiring and wearing. - And it doesn't matter.

It doesn't get you anywhere, does it? It's like, what's the fucking point? - And there's always someone who's gonna go trying to feed you black pills and like, you know, trans humanism and are they gonna wipe ass all out and blah, blah, blah.

And I'm like, that's fucking cool, man. And I can well believe it. But for my own mental health, there's a limit as to how far I'm willing to go because I'm sure there's a lot of stuff that's true that I know about but I'm largely ignorant about it.

But I always just think, well, you know, I can't take, I can't drag myself down to that place because ultimately I'd just start getting really depressed about that because it starts to feel futile.

And what I need to do, in particular having kids but even just for myself is I'm trying to, so I see everything is, it's an opportunity for showing your strength of character and to develop yourself as a person.

And like, it's too easy to be nihilistic and get dragged down with all that shit. And when actually what you need and what the people around you need is for you to raise your vibration without sending to about it.

But they want people with a higher energy level who want caving under this immense pressure which is completely fucking, you know, like this is fucked up people's lives. And there's more coming.

I mean, we've still got restrictions here in Australia at the minute, vaccine mandates and stuff like this. But I kind of see it as like, fuck you personal development. It's like, you've got to make yourself, you've got to become a better person and not allow this toxic shit into your life.

And through that process then, it's the ultimate fuck you to the media and to the government, et cetera, that want to see you weak and scared and like, you know, just sitting at home watching fucking Netflix and whacking off all day to porn.

That's what these people want. You know what I mean? So any action that you can take that's going to raise your consciousness or better you as a person or make a positive influence on the immediate world around you, then that's what we should be doing.

My mind, that's what I try to do because it's too easy for me. Like I'm a, you know, I can be a fucking miserable git. And like, it's the best challenge for me. It's actually go, I could get dragged down and really depressed about everything.

You know, at times to the last couple years, I've been incredibly overwhelmed with what's going on. I think about my kids and I think about what kind of state of the world we're in. But every time I sort of slip a little bit, I think, no, this is what those cons want.

Like, you know, like, I can't do it to my family. And like, I refuse to give them that. You know what I mean? It's like 1984. They want everyone to say two plus two equals five. Like, they want the compliance, but they want the mental compliance as much as anything.

And it's like, and part of that is being like feeling disempowered and weak and to be mentally beaten. And it's like, if you can't beat me mentally, no matter what you do to me physically, you cannot fucking win.

I win every time. - And the kids pick up on that. - 100%. - They will see my dad is doing what he can. He's strong mentally, strong physically. He's here, he's light-hearted. He's not, you know, they know if you're down and depressed and you do bring a certain energy, they know.

And everyone else knows as well. It's like, it seems like the more positive you are and the more you're going for, the more comes to you, that's a really difficult switch to have when you have those dark days.

'Cause, you know, set the same here. Like, over the last couple years, we had some really dark ones. But then, you know, you have to take that time to think. And I've done a very similar thing where I've just said, fuck them.

So I get myself into the gym and I train like an animal. And I just imagine them coming after me and I would just destroy any fucker who comes for me. And the same mentally is just like, I can't really be bothered to get this podcast edited.

I can't be bothered to work on the website. I can't be bothered to do such and such. But no, I have to because I want other people to get the information. I want other people who might be feeling shit to be able to listen and go, oh no, actually, there is something that can be done.

There are tools out there. There are people out there and I'm not alone because I think that's the big thing is you have a family. A lot of people are just alone. And if you're alone, your decisions, especially when you're in a dark place, are much more simple and a lot of people just think, fuck it, I can't be bothered anymore.

And it's a real shame because a lot of those people are depressed and they are down because they actually have their eyes open. And you don't want those people who have their eyes open who are actually capable of thought to be alone and thinking about just dropping out of the world because they're the ones who can change it.

And so I see loads of people like that in Bitcoin. Like so many people have had really, really dark times and they all are on all. But a lot of them are on this self-improvement journey and it's like, you speak to the average Bitcoin and it's like, I've asked a lot of them, it's like, why are you in the gym all the time?

Why are you trying to eat a perfect diet? Why have you given up drinking? Why are you wanting a family? Why are you doing all this extra stuff? Like, what's the reason they're like, well, because now I actually own my energy.

Now, when I save my hard work in Bitcoin, I know that it's gonna be there in the future. And that really makes me feel empowered that I'm not having it stolen. And I know that these fuckers, no matter how much they try and mess with things around me, they can't mess with my wealth.

They can't stop me from making a transaction. They can't stop me from doing what I want. And that's like a real... Don't know, it's just like, it's free speech, isn't it? It's like, you tell me I can't say something and I will.

You tell me I can't pay for something or send someone something or start this business and accept Bitcoin or send it. It's like, well, you can't stop that. And that's a really, really amazing feeling.

- Yeah, yeah, I mean, there's a couple of things, I mean, yeah, look, I completely get, like, I've suffered depression severely in the past. And like this, you know, before I've had kids.

And so, yeah, I know those dark places all too well. And I think that since finding the community more on Twitter and it started on Twitter like last year, it started to link up with more people online.

I think that's just an incredible tool and so valuable for people. Like, you know, this podcast alone, it's just fantastic. Every time I listen to it, it's like, you've got fucking cool people on who I'm like, fuck, I've got to check this person.

It's like, oh, fuck, another person I need to check out is, you know, really, really cool people talking about diverse stuff, but all with that theme. And you can, you know, I just hope that that message gets out to those people who are, you know, living on their own or they've been locked down

and not been able to see the family for months, but they know that those are the people out there that are on the same page and who more really support them and are there to reach out and to connect with.

Because it is incredibly lonely at the best of times, let alone the last couple of years. So it's, yeah, it's so vitally important. And I think that, yeah, because I mean, I used to knock about with anarchists, like a few anarchists.

I used to live in Brighton, in England, on the coast. And I used to knock around with a few anarchists and activists and stuff like this. But back then, there wasn't, there was no crypto, then there was no, so any kind of resistance to the system was very from like a, you weren't empowered in any way.

Like, it was all about trying to attack the system, but there were no real alternatives. And you had like, you know, the Brixton Pound and like, you had some local currencies that were kind of popping up as little projects and stuff, but nothing like, you know, Bitcoin and I think you kind of, now, like Bitcoin has got like,

it kind of offers that extra layer that wasn't there before, because it gives you that self-sovereignty and it gives you control that you didn't have before. Because before it was like, you know, trying to chip away at the system or should we change it inside?

And actually, no, this is like, we can completely set up a parallel economy. And like, this will fucking cripple the beast from it's very hard. And that's so much more different from like, you know, back in the day and you listen to the levelers and you've got a dog on a bit of string and you're like kind of drinking special brew

and kind of like, we're gonna fight the system. It's like, well, actually, no, like, this is like more of a far more mature. It's like, you know, personal development and spiritual development and like, say, community and family.

It just, it's got a different level of consciousness to it. And I've met a lot of people into varying degrees that some ceremony's over the last year who have got into crypto. And it's no surprise that, you know, there's people who are waking up to crypto in general or a Bitcoin to a certain extent,

because it fits in with this oddly fits in with this spiritual quest for growth, really, personal growth. Yeah, so it's, so well, the last, you know, few years have been incredibly hard. I think there's so much, there's so much good to come out of it at the same time because it's linking people up like never before,

waking people up like never before. And people seeing that are, I hope that, and I'm particularly, I'm sure the people who listen to this podcast will be now seeking to be. Like I always think about it, it's like, who are you called to be?

You know, with all this going on, this is what I asked myself. Like, who am I called to be? And what am I called to create? Like you say, like, you've got the tough days, but you've got this podcast and the website and you're putting the mesh to the delt and you're putting stuff out there.

And it's your, you're a creative force in the world. You're not, you're not a victim. You're not sitting back or just sitting in the armchair and waiting for stuff. Oh, this will pass over or what's going to happen.

Oh, you know, reading stuff and getting all right. It's like, actually no, we're called to be a creative force. And I think we are anyway, there's our species, rather than just like passive fucking consumers who just sit there and just like, obviously just take it in and believe what the sea is like.

No, each of us are called to play our part and we've got our own skills and gifts. And we're linking up with each other and creating something that's actually valuable in the world, rather than the sort of real shit tier stuff that we've passed off as what we should be attaining, what we should be, what life should be about.

And yeah, I really do hope that people, the more people are waking up now. And as much as I think they've got a lot of dark times coming, I hope that this awakening will just keep growing.

And like on the weekend, even at the ceremony, I was just thinking, I've done a lot of ceremonies now and I've met a lot of people through it. And you think every one of those people, there's got a family who will be positively impacted by that person's ceremony.

And the ripple effects just keep going out that people come together and they do the work and they meet with authenticity and respect and love for each other. They then take that back home with them and it ripples out through their family and their community and else they're doing, people are doing projects and they're doing artwork

and writing and people are doing, and just making themselves better human beings. And just like at the I wasca ceremony, it's not isolated to that location. That happens every time that even on the Metropolitan, when we're talking and when we're connecting, we're sharing ideas and we're getting excited about stuff

and then it's like that ripples out through your life. And that can be said for most people where there's not a massive ripple effect of spending the night binging on whatever show or something like that, as good as that is sometimes.

Like I would never say that I never watch anything, but like when your life is completely centered around that very normy experience of what's happening in the footy and what's on telling, what's happening on these tenders or if that's even still on the TV, I'm not sure anymore, but I'm assuming it is.

- I'm sure it is, yeah. When you're watching something, whether it's football or a show or whatever, you're just being fed information and you're just taking it in. And that's very different to actually communicating with other people and coming up with ideas.

And it's just a totally different experience and nothing really is created from just sitting there and taking information in that sent you in a certain way or certain format. And the same with a lot of conversations.

A lot of conversations are just about people and things. When I'm sitting around the average person in the UK, they will talk about whatever the current thing is. So, you know, the moment is Ukraine war.

They'll talk a little bit about that. Very uninformed, just word salad. And then after that, they'll say something virtue-signally like, "Oh, I might bring them into my home 'cause I feel really bad and I want to help them and, you know, so I'll bring them into my home."

Right? And then you're thinking, okay, right, what's next? And then it will be, let's talk about Will Smith slapping someone, right? Okay, let's talk about that for a while. And then it will be a friend of theirs who got divorced and talking about that personal life.

And you think, right, we've just sat here for however long, what the fuck has anyone learned? Has anyone actually thought of anything creative? Has anyone found a way to improve themselves or the people around them?

Has anyone done anything? No. And that's completely different to what you're describing in the Mestadel, which is ideas all the time. And it's, someone comes up with an idea and then someone adds to that.

And then someone says, "Oh, I need someone "who's an engineer to help me build this. "Oh, I know someone, let me put you in touch. "Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang." And it's so quick how things happen.

And you do, you walk away from that interaction, really excited and really positive and working towards achieving something rather than, "I've learned nothing, "I've just wasted an hour of my life."

And yeah, it's very addictive. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 100% 'cause it's like normally, I've got my circle of friends and stuff, but when I do talk to normies at work or whatever. And if I sort of start to talk about things that I'm actually interested in, like I don't talk about, I always cover it at all really,

a couple of select people, but if I talk about, I know like I read quite a lot about Sufism, meditation, spirituality, et cetera, or the fact that I don't really watch TV and that I do intermittent fasting, I did carnivore as well for eight months, which was phenomenal.

And then they just look at you like, you fucking drop from the moon. And then you kind of like, they're like, even more managers said recently. It's just like, you're such a fucking interesting person to listen to because you're just like, I don't know what the fuck you're gonna say next.

And it's not like I'm there sitting like spouting out like fucking big theories and all this kind of shit, but it's just like, when people find out what you're actually into and like, even just relative stuff like, I didn't watch the footy on the weekend, I was, I read a book and like, even that's perceived as being like.

- You weirdo. - Weirdo, yeah. You don't even talk about Bitcoin so like the finance guy at work, this is before I got into it and he was like, oh no, that's a load of shit digital bullshit.

(laughing) And you're like, okay, well, you know, you're a finance director and you're like, it's just a nah nah nah, it's fucking bullshit. You wanna keep away from all that shit. (laughing) - It's so funny when it's like the finance guys, especially those in positions of power, who are honestly some of the dumbest fucks I've ever met,

(laughing) they speak with such authority on subjects, they have absolutely no fucking idea about. It's just, it's amazing. - Yeah, well, I mean, it's not, yeah. People, and I mean, I know I'm guilty, we're all guilty of it in a way of being, we live within a bubble of our, either our own creation or there's someone else's creation.

You know, there's a, there's a, our way of understanding the world and there's levels to it in there. You know, I always come back to the Matrix analogy 'cause it's just too good for that.

But like, you know, they're proper blue-pilled and they see the world in a particular way, they accept it like this. And they're not particularly curious or inquisitive people. Like, I have to remind myself this 'cause I'm eternally fucking curious, which is incredibly painful burden at times.

You know, when you're like, you wanna, you see, there's so many things to learn about and to explore and question and then to know that you know fucking nothing, really. But then most other people live in these structures of belief that are very incredibly limiting and they don't even know they're limiting.

And anything outside of that is a threat to their, like you're saying before, it's a threat to their personal identity because the minute you start to pick away at it, not only does their world view collapse, but they collapse with it because I'm a piece of that jigsaw puzzle.

As much as that jigsaw, like, is a cage, is a mental cage for me. I'm actually part of it as well. My identity, the very core identity of who I am, is tied into this fucking Matrix. And if you start picking it apart and questioning it, like who I am and my role in the world fucking collapses completely

because I've built my life around this. And so it's like, I kind of get it in a way. It's a shame and it's sad. It doesn't have to be like that. But that's how most people will operate through their lives.

They're just not really questioning it at all. And probably even till they're fucking deathbed, like, which is, you know, incredibly sad thought. Like, and I suppose that's part of what, you know, is trying to have like stuff like this and conversations, like people can stumble across it who might be mildly curious

and it just fucking blows their mind and sends them off there in a fucking massive rabbit hole that they never even knew existed. And I think that's the best thing that you could hope for really, 'cause I don't think there's a, you can't really argue with these people.

I don't think you can really convince them of anything. It's just wasted energy. - I agree. But with some stuff, like for example, so you've done the carnival diet for eight months, all right?

My assumption is that it had fairly dramatic effects on your body. And then if you go to them and you say, well, you can correct me if I'm wrong here, but like presumably you lost a lot of weight.

You were probably in good shape. And then if you, if the person that you're speaking to says like, you know, like my mum, if you then say, well, I've lost 10 kilos of fat and I'm feeling really good, then that's evidence that something is working and the way that you want it to work.

In the same way with Bitcoin, it's like, I mean, banging on for like five years or more, fucking buy this thing. It's gonna be more valuable. It does all these amazing things and no one listens.

But then if someone says, well, it's a load of bullshit, is it though? Just look at the value, look at the network. Is that true what you're saying? Because the numbers don't lie. There is evidence to support what we're saying.

Does anyone ever, you know, in your work? Do they ever go, oh, this, this J guy, like, he talks a lot about a lot of weird stuff, but it seems to be right. Well, this is, I think there's two, there's two good points there.

So the one thing is you've got to be it. If you embody it, then you don't even have to say anything about it. And I think that's like, it's true for anything, personal development wise or financial wise or anything.

Like if you're walking the walk and you live in that lifestyle, like people pick up off your energy, they pick up your energy, they pick up off what you're doing, and they'll see that for one.

And then the other thing from what you're saying was, you don't need to, you don't actually need to give people a lot to make them think. And a lot of it is trying to leave in nuggets with them to say, well, have you looked at this?

Or have you thought about that? And you leave enough that's like, you're not trying to argue, 'cause I mean, you try and get into a debate or trying to convince someone. I automatically get defensive.

And I think it's like, you're right. It's important to like drop little nuggets. Like the number of places I've been, like the last year, and I drop, I have a conversation with someone and I'll start dropping in little nuggets about Bitcoin or yeah, mainly used to Bitcoin.

And I don't know, vast amounts, like I'd be the worst person to speak to about it. But like, you know, you drop little nuggets in about the financial system and what's going on in the world.

And kind of just leave it there in this kind of, you know, you become this like manner. I feel like I need to drop a smoke bomb sometimes and disappear and I'll be like, (laughing) "Who was that mysterious handsome man?" (laughing) - I like that.

- I'm gonna do that smoke bomb. (laughing) Colored smoke bomb. - Just a little clue. - Yeah, just a little clue and then just nothing. And they're like, "Whoa, what's this?" - Wow, where did he go?

- But it'll be a bit more, but it'll probably be a bit more like Frank Spencer and it doesn't light. And you stand there like, what are you doing? And you're like, "Poo!" - Ooh, I just don't walk away in a really awkward way.

But yeah, but I think like, yeah, drop a little nuggets and just trying to question things. I think the question is the big stuff to say, "Oh, have you thought about this or what about that?"

Have you ever looked into central banking? Like that's the one I often say to people. It's like, do you know what fiat currencies and fractional reserve banking and what how the central banks work?

No, I've never thought about it. I don't know what the fuck you're on about. Look into that. That's all I'm saying. Go online and look up money's debt or whatever. There's only a number of hard monies and other good ones with the Bitcoin stuff.

Just have a look into it. If you're curious and like, it just doesn't take a lot. I'm not trying to give them an electrode. I'm particularly not trying to get in an argument with anybody.

It's more just like, yeah, maybe if you looked into this, you might find this interesting. It's a reasonable position to start from if you understand about the creation of money and debt and going off the gold standard, et cetera.

It's like, maybe, you know, might take you on a down a little rabbit hole and you know, a lot of people won't be. I did suggest this to a couple of people at work, actually. And, ah, look, I'm not really into conspiracy theories.

(laughing) I'm not really interested in conspiracy theories, but I'm gonna look into what you've said 'cause it sounds quite interesting. You're like, yeah, I think that's always a, yeah, dropping little nuggets in and just letting people go off.

And if they're interested, they'll go off and do it, but I've got fed up of feeling frustrated and trying to unnecessarily argue with people online in the past. And I'm like, don't waste my energy for that shit anymore.

I'm like, I like talking to cool people such as yourself and connecting with people and writing stuff on Twitter and chatting to people in the DM's through Twitter. I mean, that's been fucking awesome.

And I keep it super positive 'cause I just don't wanna retract all the fucking arguments and all the bullshit that's online. I'm just like, this life's too fucking short. And it just drags you down far too quickly.

It's just, I've got better things to do, really. - You actually help coach people on a lot of this stuff, don't you? Because I remember when we first spoke, you had mentioned, I can't remember.

We were doing like a personal development talk on the Mechedel thing and like starting from the self and you just popped in. You're like, oh yeah, I really like not keeping a journal, keeping a journal.

- Yeah, that was it, yeah. - And, you know, I like journaling and you gave us some info on that. And I was like, oh, that's really interesting. That's like a tool to use. Do you have like, without sort of giving away the secret sauce?

Like, do you have any other good tips or like things that you lean on that when you're working with clients that you think really helps? - Yeah, well, journaling's a big one. There's definitely lots of different techniques in that regard, like free writing, et cetera, and using different questions as well

to really get into your subconscious shit and then reflecting back on it is always hugely helpful. 'Cause it's just trying to get into, I mean, that's what part of what we're coaching or even just in a good dialogue with someone.

You've got that, you've got a space of curiosity, of possibility, and the two people who come in there and in a sense of like not knowing and trying to explore the topic at hand. So rather than like giving advice and saying, "Oh, have you thought about doing this?

Have you thought about doing that?" It's like, actually, I don't want to make, I don't want to make the assumption that I know what's best for you. And the biggest change that's possible is if you come to the realization yourself.

So we go on this exploration together and then you've got the answers for your own situation and for your own life and that will be far more impactful than anyone from the outside can tell you.

'Cause you know it's all well and good when someone says, "Oh, I don't know, you know what mate, "you need to lose a bit of weight," yeah, whatever. But then the one day when you look in the mirror and you go, "Oh fuck, I need to lose some weight."

That's when you'll actually fucking take action. Like, you know, you've got to have that epiphany yourself. So, yes, the journaling's a big one. Another big thing is about looking at core beliefs and exploration of your core beliefs.

So core beliefs around yourself, others, and the world. I think this is huge because a lot of these core beliefs, the core beliefs largely come from your childhood and they become internalized and they run your life.

The decisions that you make and the people that you associate with and the way that you treat yourself. Working on, like I did a lot of self-work for years, but it wasn't until I started working on my core beliefs 'cause then your core beliefs dictate your self-talk and your optimism and your general resilience

and your mindset itself will be dictated by your core beliefs. So, that's something that I think is incredibly powerful and incredibly valuable to dig into. There's simple exercises you can do for that.

I won't go into it now, but there's simple exercises you can do. Like, for me, as an example, when I started doing this work, I started getting into a little bit, like younger and shadow work.

It's a big topic and I'm not a massive expert, but I started getting into that a few years back and then started exploring this work around core beliefs. And then it was only then that I'd realized that, like, I'd spent, you know, I don't know what's the ceremonies and I'd been on meditation retreats and practice meditation very deeply

for like a large number of years. But there was still blind spots and things that were holding me back. And I couldn't figure out why I was not doing all this work, but like, I'm not just caught getting there.

And it was only really when I got to the core belief, particularly about myself, and I started to see how my negative opinion of myself was fueling, was like a sabotage. It would keep sabotaging me.

And it's the same thing about, so you're beliefs about yourself. And they can be very, they'll play out in behaviors or self-talk, you know, like overly critical self-talk. And there's a process of realizing that ultimately, that this voice in your head that's criticizing you and he's telling you that you're other lazy or stupid

or not good enough or whatever that voice is telling you, that that voice isn't your voice, that's not you. That voice is your internalization of the way you may have been treated as a child, spoke to as a child, experienced the world as a child.

And it becomes internalized very early on. And that inner critic, that voice, you then start to realize that it's not actually your voice, it's just an interpretation that's been internalized.

And it's like a little program that plays and it berates you. It's like an inner bully or inner parenting bully that will be there. And this is there for a lot of people. And once I realized that that voice wasn't my own, and I really explored it and what it was saying about me, to me, when I actually examined it,

I was like, this is fucking bullshit. Like, why do I believe this fucking voice? And then once I've realized that it wasn't mine and I had that epiphany, then it literally had no power on me and I could fucking see it for what it was.

And then it literally just turned the volume down. Now, the voice kicks in sometimes. Like, even when we booked this podcast or I booked the date, right, we finally got it. I was like, sweet, looking forward to that.

And I was like, oh fuck, what am I gonna say? I'm gonna be like, he has all these fucking cool people on. And now he's got me. I was like, fuck, I'm gonna have to cancel it. And I was like, oh, it's straight up, I'm like, I'm gonna have to tell him, like I've got nothing to fucking say.

Like, it just went on, I was like, now shut the fuck up. Like, what the fuck are you talking about? And like, but I'll catch it now. Like, that voice used to fucking cripple me for fucking weeks and would chip away at me.

And then, but now I'm like, now I see you, fucker. Like, don't stop fucking lying to me. And then it's the same with like, you know, your core belief about other people, whether they're trustworthy or untrustworthy or whatever they might be.

And the world itself, it's, you know, is it a place of abundance or is it a place of scarcity? Is it a place that is hard and is difficult and is a chore or is it hard and difficult when he's actually joyful and it's, you know, an opportunity to grow and et cetera.

So I think, yeah, that's it. Like the journaling and the core beliefs are two really big things. And it depends on what people, you know, want to work on and how deep they want to go with it.

But I love to jump into, because I think if you can nail down, if you can dig into people's core beliefs and it can be a tough nut to crack for some people, you know, I've worked with a few people and they can't go there because they've never been there.

And they struggle to really pick it apart. But I think if you can, if you start, if you use that as a basis to get that understanding, then as you go into the process of exploring a topic, whether it be career or relationship or transition in life in general, going back and touching into that core belief again

and seeing when it plays itself out is really valuable. And it causes massive insights for people as well. - That's so interesting because it's like a, it's like a program that you can't switch off or that the average person doesn't even know is running.

It's like, I was speaking to someone about this the other day where it's like, you have these programs running. If you think about it, breathing is a program that we don't really interact with very much.

It's just it runs in the background. The same with a lot of our patterns of thought. And if you think how many times like you say, you've got that background program that's telling you you're not good enough or your other thoughts are sort of like based around that or from that point,

then it can really, really affect like everything that you do, everything and even how you perceive things, I suppose, changes. Like that's something I've worked on over the last couple of years is little simple things, which everyone's probably heard them, but it's like, even this morning,

I do it every morning, I get up and I write a list 'cause I'm like, I got loads of shit to do and I want to try and plan it out and I'm quite disorganized, so I write this list. Part of it is to write it so that I can be organized.

Part of it is so that at the end of the day, I can tick everything off 'cause otherwise I lie in bed and I'll go, "You lazy cunt, you fucking haven't done enough." And I'll like abuse myself.

I'll be like, "You fuck." But actually, then I look at the list and I go right, no, you've actually done quite a lot there, well done, pat on the back. But the other thing is like in the morning, when I'm writing the list, I have a tendency to go, "Oh, fucking hell, I've got to do this, I've got to do that."

And I change it now to I get to, like, "Ah, I get to speak to Jay." Then I get to go and speak to this engineer and then I get to do some editing and then I get to put it out and I guess, and just that reframing of have to to get to.

Actually, it's surprising how much that changes my day. - Yeah, yeah, 100%, 100%. I think this, you know, gratitude and mindset and little, it's all like platitude-y kind of stuff that you sort of see like on self-help channels on YouTube.

But fucking works, like, yeah, it really does make a massive difference if you can go into the day with anything you can do to fight that pull of nihilism. If you're trying to, it's too easy just to become incredibly, just to come to that voice in your head and allow it to hold you back like a fucking dead weight that's like,

you're dragging it along. You don't even know it's there half the time and you just keep fucking pulling it. It's like, they just cut the cord and just fucking leave that there 'cause your life will be so much better and you'll be so much happier.

And any tools that you can do to catch yourself when you start getting dragged back by it again, it's like, it works, it really helps. And I think like, yeah, gratitude practice as well. It's so important.

And also something I got into more recently is like dopamine detox and just trying to, I've definitely caught myself more with a lower attention span. Like, you know, I love reading books and stuff, but I'm like, fuck, like, I seem to have got more distracted recently and I flit around between things

a lot more and I'm like, I'm having to really be very mindful of usage of media in general and I'm trying to create a lot more space for myself. There's space that I can think a lot clearer.

'Cause I mean, the more you can create a space in your mind that you get more greater clarity of thought 'cause it's not clouding yourself constantly. So that's been a really valuable for me, particularly of late, but I've definitely around like, you know, I don't watch the news.

I'm very conscious of leaving the music I listen to. You know, I love dark, heavy music, but I only listen, I don't listen to it much anymore 'cause it's like, it's fucking too, it can be too dark and it can be too, like, I want stuff that's feeding me in the right energetic way.

Like, if I wanna listen, if I'm weight training, yeah, I'll listen to, I don't, it's fucking so much stupid, heavy. And I enjoy it 'cause I'm getting the adrenaline rush from the music and it's gotta be fast to release as well.

It's a release, it's cathartic, and I need that there, but the rest of the time, you know, I wanna listen to, you know, like classical Indian music or classical musical, like, good uplifting tunes that are gonna be elevating my day and giving me the right kind of energy for the day.

Yeah, I think it's, it's a particularly in today's world with, you know, you constantly looking at your phone and you've got fucking alerts going off and 50 apps to check. Like, this month I'm actually, so I'm not Muslim, but this month I'm observing Ramadan.

When you say observing, you're doing the fasting and all that stuff, okay, yeah. Yeah, so I'm, it's quite, I've got some friends who are Muslim lecturers and stuff that I know. And I was doing this digital detox stuff and I wanted to put more of a practice,

spiritual practice in place really for it. It just doesn't, another experiment, kind of an experiment in a way. But, so the opportunity came up and someone suggested that I just, why don't you just try it and try the fasting.

And it's not just, it's the fasting of food and water during the day. So I've been doing that for four or five days now. So I get up about just after four and I'll have some food and then I'll fast from like five AM till 10 past six at night and that's no food or water.

And there's a discipline there, obviously. It's like an experimenting willpower. You know, you're sort of trying to strengthen the character and also reorientation of energy and focus. So it's a liberating discipline where I'm taking away the food and the drink during the day.

And I'm trying to put this hardship on myself. And at the same time, I'm trying to do less social media and trying to less, you know, bulk bullshitty stuff online and actually take, create that space in silence for myself.

And I'm not far into it, but it's been incredible. I've got so much fucking respect for Muslims who do this like every single year. And I did like the whole family fast and put themselves through this austerity.

Reading about it's one thing, but just doing like a week of it. So I like I want to do the entire month. But it's, yeah, it's been, it's hard, but it's been an incredible experience. Definitely learning a lot.

Is that you're dogging the background or something? Can you hear it? What a prick. I've got because I've got noise canceling headphones on. I don't hear it. It's normally when I listen back and I start doing the editing and I get this.

Let me, let me put them in another room as you go. Those are gorgeous little areas. Is that, is that my thing eating this stuff? I was already, is your stomach at one point? No, no, no, this is.

Right. So she needs to get out. Out.

It's fucking so noisy. He's only tiny, but he. Oh really? Very, very noisy. He's a little Frenchy. Oh, right. He's very, he's actually very small for a Frenchy, but he's built like a brick shit house.

Literally like the incredible Hulk. He's so fucking strong. He's like, he's only like 10 kilos, but he is so fucking strong. And he's a little natter, but there we are. He likes to get involved in the conversations.

But yeah, no, I like that. I like that you're getting involved with things like that. And just trying things. I think that's a big thing is like until you try something, you can't really understand it.

And you know, you can't really appreciate it. And that goes for kind of everything, really. You can get a kind of rough understanding. Like I can talk to you about Iowa Square and I can be like, I can understand why that could be beneficial.

I get like from what people have told me that that's cool, but I don't really understand because I've never done it. And you know, when I talk to people about Bitcoin and I say how incredibly powerful it is, they could maybe get a grasp of like why that could be cool.

But until you actually use it, you don't really understand. And yeah, I'm a big believer in that. Just try things. Yeah, like I've always enjoyed, it's weird, actually, because it's very contradictory for me as a person, because as a kid, like I was super really crippled with social anxiety and I hated talking to almost anybody,

one on one I was all right, but like asked me to go to a shop to buy something and I just like crumble, I just couldn't do it. But then I think because of that, there was part of me that was like, I have to put myself in uncomfortable situations.

And that's how I overcame it over time, was just by putting myself out there and going, no, I can't allow this to dictate my life. And I was too curious, so I just put myself out there. So I'd go and spend time with the Harry Christianers and like, I'd find it really awkward to be there

and they're all got the robes on and dancing and chatting and stuff and I'd be like like, "No, no, no, I've got to be here, like I've got to do this." And immediately fucking, I met some awesome people.

And then, you know, the same in different places, I'm like, right, I'm going to go to this mystical Sufi gathering or I'm going to go to this or the place and I'm just trying to get myself out of my comfort zone and putting myself in other people's shoes and trying to get more of a respect of their position

and where they are and then what I'm going to learn myself through that process as well. And I think, I hope that that's made me a better person and it hopefully keeps my mind open as well 'cause I don't want to try not to trap myself in a box and assume that I know something that I know everything.

So yeah, like doing Ramadan, you know, taking part in it this month has been already a real eye out now. And I'm doing it on my own and it's a very different experience. I'm trying to, I'm not praying five times a day, but I am conscious of the daily prayers and I try to do, I'm trying to do meditation each time

'cause I want to feel the rhythm of it as well. And I don't want to be, you know, you're a tourist to a large degree, but it's, I don't know, it's been a very high and an experience already.

I'm looking, it's going to be hard to get through the whole month, like I'm only a week in, almost. And I'm already looking forward to the end of it 'cause like doing it every single day and not eating a drink.

Like, you know, I do fasting and stuff, but I might do three or four days and then you sort of back to normal. And actually thinking, I'm doing this like every day and I'm being very conscious about, you know, like I say, like media usage and stuff like this.

But yeah, I think it's important, I think it's important for the weather people do this or do other things like just general fasting or dopamine detox. I think it's good to challenge yourself and put yourself out your comfort zone.

Yeah, you learn a lot about yourself as well and what you're capable of. - Yeah, yeah, pushing yourself in any of those sort of things is good. And sometimes like just seeing what you rely on, like taking things out that you feel you rely on, like I've done it recently with smoking weed

and drinking alcohol and both of those things have gone because I realized like I massively heavily relied on smoking and that was like my only way of shutting my brain down. And that was like at night, everything else is done and need to shut this down, it won't stop.

And so that became a real crutch. And the same then when I stopped that and then alcohol sort of started taking over, I started drinking more 'cause I was like, well, I wanna try and slow myself down.

So that would be the drinking. And now that I've got rid of both of them, yeah, it's interesting to look back and be like, well, I'm okay without both actually. There are times where you miss them and stuff, but these things become a crutch and it doesn't mean that I won't reintroduce in the future necessarily, but it's like just to see,

to push yourself to see like what are you capable of losing. And the one thing I struggle with now is like, I don't, the one thing I really don't think I could lose is my morning coffee, like I love my morning coffee.

I don't know what would happen if I had to take that out. Like the odd day I miss it or whatever, but that would be, that would be difficult. - I'm struggling with that at a minute. - Oh yeah, of course, 'cause you can't.

- Yeah, so I'm not drinking any coffee 'cause it's gonna be due to, people do drink coffee, they get it very early and drink a coffee or two, but I think it's gonna be too dehydrating. So like I've had to not, I normally have a decaf, but I'm even keeping away from that.

So it's actually been torturous. It's like, I don't drink a lot of coffee, but I have like one a day, maybe two, often I've replaced it with decaf 'cause I didn't think the caffeine was actually doing me any favors, but like, yeah, not drinking anything, coming to my desk to work in the morning,

I haven't got a hot drink and I haven't got any drink. And you're like, ah, and it makes you realize what a bitch you are after time, you know what I mean? It's like, you know what I mean?

It's a fucking hot drink, that's it. That's all it is. They do not, ah, fucking I need it. Oh, I can't wait to have a coffee. Oh, I'm really looking for it. So it's like, it's a fucking hot drink, mate.

Like, you can't not have a, you can't avoid a hot drink for a fucking wick or let alone a month. Like, if you think of it in that context, it's like, oh, fucking hell. Like, yeah, I'm a bit of a bitch, really, when it comes to it.

Yeah. And that's what I'm getting myself. That's what I'm learning myself. I'm like, think of it today as my wife is making a coffee and it's like, I could smell it, like, grinding it. I was like, ah, fucking hell.

Mate, it's a fucking hot drink, like, chill out. Like, anything kill you. So I'll have to keep, and I'll just keep laughing at myself. And this is the one thing you put it up. You go through something like this, and you're like, and it's the same with alcohol.

You know, like, I, you know, I used to drink a lot. I used to binge drink, and I got into all kinds of fucking stupid situations. I'm lucky to be alive, to be honest. But like, you know, look at it, look at it now.

And I just have to kind of like, I don't know, laugh about it. Or anything like, well, you know, I don't, I'm relying on this liquid to alleviate this pain. I'm like, I need to drink to switch my brain off.

Because otherwise, I'm just like, did, did, did, did, did. And I'm like, fuck, just, I need to numb out a little bit. Fuck you, you just realize they're dependent, how reliant you are on these substances, just to kind of get you through.

And I think if you can, like, anything challenging yourself and test, even just experimenting with it, is a good, if you've got an open mind, and go, you know what, I'm just gonna, I'm not gonna do this one thing.

I'm gonna try for like a week or a month. You can see and record it. Like, that's what I'm doing now. I'm like recording what this experience is like. And not to say that I'm treating Ramadan as a, as a challenge.

Because I really, I'm really fucking conscious of that. That's why I haven't put anything on Twitter about it yet. Because I don't want people to think I'm treating it like some kind of fucking, I'm a YouTuber.

Like these fucking YouTubers are like, I did Ramadan for one day. This is what I learned. And you're like, get the fuck out of here. Fuck all. (laughing) You'd be, you'd be what for a day?

You're like, oh, fuck it. I should start making these fucking videos because the bar is fucking low sometimes. But I'm like, but I don't want people to perceive this like I'm doing a challenge.

It's, it's not that. There's a, there's a spiritual dimension to it as well. And I'm, I'm, I'm looking to as much as it's like a experiment, I'm looking to deepen my understanding. And it's kind of a personal quest with it really.

But yeah, you do realize where you, you're a bit of a bitch. That's, that's it. - Definitely. But it is, I mean, it's about finding a way, if you do have an active brain, sometimes it is very challenging to turn it off.

And it's, it's about trying to find ways to do that. And I think probably the things that I was doing before and the habits I had and what I was using to switch it off maybe wasn't actually that smart.

Like smoking weed probably wasn't that smart. So I'd find like, all right, 11 o'clock, 12 o'clock at night. I'd start smoking. And then I'd suddenly be like, oh fuck, it's three o'clock. And I've learned about this, this and this.

And I've researched that and like, you know, whatever, I actually haven't got any sleep. Like that was done. And that becomes a pattern or with alcohol. All right, well, I numb my brain to a certain point where I'm not really thinking, but then I get a shit quality sleep.

So I think there's probably other better ways. I tried meditation. I probably haven't tried hard enough, but I just find it so frustrating. Like really frustrating to do. Even five minutes for me is really hard.

So that, I mean, I've done like runs where I've done 30 days in a row or whatever. And I've done, I've tried to do it, but it is so difficult. And then a few other people have mentioned micro-adosing can be useful in other bits.

And then a mate of mine turned up a couple of days ago, he phoned me, he was like, oh yeah mate, I'll come around to it, should we go and have a smoke? No, no, I'm sober, I'm not having any of that.

And he goes, oh, right, okay. And he turned up. And then he chuckles packet on the table. He goes, there you are mate. Lovely bit of LSD for you. What I like to do is just take half a tab and then go on a really nice dog walk.

And you just sort of get on with stuff, but you just have half. And I was like, mate, will you fuck off? I'm trying to be good. He was like, honestly, it's so nice, you just have half. So I'm sure there are things that are nice, but I just, yeah, I don't know.

- It's, well, yeah, so two interesting threads. So I've just started microdosing psilocybin. - Okay. - My shrooms started a couple of months ago, no? Maybe six weeks, something like that.

And that, it's a very interesting experiment. I'm taking a very small, like it's a microdose, so obviously, hence the name of 0.1 gram. And I'm taking a break, so I have it every sort of three days.

So I have one day, two days off, then I'll take it again. And it's just enough that you can kind of feel it, but not in a fucking tripping sense. It's just like you get a heightened energy, heightened levels of concentration and creativity, but it's super fucking subtle, but you just know there's something there.

- Right. - And I've found that's a very good way to center myself a lot more. And it's something that's, yeah, interesting experiment that I'm gonna continue on to see. Yeah, to see how that goes, 'cause that's really been good for me the last six weeks, and I wanna see how it goes through the long term.

So I'll report back on that later, but there's the microdosing's awesome with the mushrooms. And then with the meditation, yeah, I was interested in what you said. So how long did you, how long did you, if you don't want me asking that, how long did you meditate for?

Like you tried it on and off for a while. - Yeah, on and off, but I did the longest sort of, what'd you call it, like, spree, or I don't know what the word, I can't think of the right word, but like probably about run, yeah, that's a better word, 30 days-ish, something like that.

Yeah, I mean, I did 10 minutes, was about, I think, the most I ever did, but yeah, it was really hard. Like I'd be sitting there, they'd be like, you know, they say like, oh, think about where you're connecting with the ground or like where these connection points are or whatever, you know, like a normal person.

I'd do it with my misses and she was like loving it. She's like, oh, yeah, I'm connecting with the ground, and yeah, I can feel, and I was like freaking out in my head thinking, ah, my foot is touching the floor.

Like, how is my blood not coming out of my skin? And I was thinking about all this weird stuff, and I was like, oh, that feels really weird. Like, I've never really thought about the way that my foot is touching there.

And then I've got all these nerves, and my brain just goes fucking mental. (laughs) And then it just really like starts freaking me out. And I'm just like, I actually really don't like it.

Whereas like my misses are just loving it. She's just like, oh, yeah, I could easily do like half an hour an hour an hour. It's just really nice and relaxing. And I'm thinking, why aren't I like that?

Like what the fuck is going on with my head? - It's, yeah, I mean, look, it's, I get you completely. And I mean, there's lots of different techniques as well. Like there's always, there's so many, you know, infinite number of techniques, I'm sure.

And even stuff like, it's not meditation per se, but like yoga, nidra, like guided, more of a very guided meditation, guided relaxation, I suppose you call it. And they're fantastic 'cause they're actively using your imagination.

So your brains have got something to do. - Right, okay. - So kind of gives you visualizations and you can go on little journeys and, you know, as well as it being embodied in your physical body as well.

And there's other techniques as well, like noting and like this Burmese style of practice. So there's lots of different ways you can approach it. And it kind of depends on what you're looking to get out of it as well, I think.

Because, you know, like a relaxation might be what someone needs, they're probably, they may not need to do. Like meditation is very counterintuitive. You know, like, it's like stepping under a waterfall.

And like all these fucking, the thoughts being the water and they're just fucking pummeling you. And you're like, oh, for fuck sake, like I need to sat down for 10 minutes and I'm getting fucking pummeled.

And then you step out of it after 10, like if you've managed five minutes, you're like, fuck for that. Like, but like it's repeat. And this is the thing that I found it took me, you've got to be pretty fucking pigheaded to be a meditator, I think a serious meditator because you've got to keep going at it

even though it's completely fucking counterintuitive and it's fucking irritating as anything at the start. And then eventually, like maybe, you know, there'll be a few months in when you start to see the nature of your thoughts and that they're independent of you and they come and go.

And then you start to, it starts to become, it like it never really gets, I mean, I'm sure it gets easier eventually. Like, but it's always, you're always there and the mind's doing what it does.

All right, but over time, I do think that you can, particularly using like a concentration technique where if you really, I dunno, it took me months, it took me months of persistence of going at it and just like thinking I'm fucking wasting my time here until eventually it started to click

and then I started to get into some concentration states. And then as soon as I started to get a little taste of concentration, like a really balanced one-pointed concentration for a couple of seconds and you're all, that's fucking interesting.

I wanna do that again. And then it's like you keep working at it then. So, but it's very incredibly counterintuitive and you kind of, the only thing that kept me going with it is knowing, believing the reports of other people that people wouldn't be saying this for fucking millennia all around the world

about these variations of this practice if it didn't work. - That's the thing, yeah. - And like, if they can do it and they've been doing it and there's like, there's so many texts which will give you states and stages of meditation and levels that you can get to.

And like, that's not for everybody. I'm not saying that's what people have to do, but like, just the fact that they were out there and I kind of got into a lot of that stuff over time. And that gave me confidence in the practice itself because then I knew it worked.

I knew that normal people can achieve incredible states of mind. It's just this, you just gotta be like, you just get that big headed like, right, I wanna fucking sit down and do this again.

It's torture, but I'm gonna do it. And yeah, there's no denying. It's a hard thing to get into. - Just like that consistency. I guess in that way then it's like, yeah, it's like going to the gym when you first start and you're just in pain every day.

And then after a certain amount of time and you're like, I just wanna do this to get strong. And then eventually you're like, I actually wanna do this because I feel peaceful after it. I guess it's a similar kind of thing.

It's really hard slog and then you sort of, you end up getting something out of it in the end. I guess I just need to break through that barrier or you know, I need to continue with it. It's, yeah, it's only 10 minutes.

That's the stupid thing is it's like, it's only 10 minutes, but there's loads of other things that are only 10 minutes, you know? And it's like, it's really difficult to push myself to do it.

But do you find now, like you've obviously been doing this a long time, do you find you get to these higher states or altered states or like, like to what level can it take you to at this point?

- Look, no, it's a lot of it for me is like, with three little kids, 'cause my kids are under 10. So a lot of it for me is like maintenance practice. So I've had to drop off on my hardcore practice that I used to be writing to.

So, but yeah, I can get it. I can, sometimes it's incredibly beautiful and peaceful and energizing. Other times it's just fucking annoying and my brain won't shut the fuck up. And I just have to kind of sit there with it and I just keep, I just want to get up and like you say, 10 minutes in feels like three hours.

Other times I just sit there, I could sit there all day, it's amazing. But I mean, some of the most profound experiences I've ever had were completely sober while meditating. Truly mind bending experiences that stayed with me for days.

And like I know that's, I've kind of put it to one side as a serious practice. You know, I do have my own sort of practice that I do. But I'm not as deeply into it as I was probably like eight years ago or something, for example.

So I kind of keep up a maintenance dose now, do what I can. Some nights I can't do it, some days I'm too tired or the days I've got time, you know, the kids go to bed early and whatnot. So yeah, it's something like I think, particularly one peak experience I had maybe about 12 years ago or something, that one really stayed with me.

And from that experience, I'd say that I know that I know that that state of mind is always possible and it's always present and it's there if I, it's ever present. It's hard to explain. It was a very profound experience of dropping away of the self and experience in this unified calm center that you couldn't take anything from

and you couldn't put anything to it. And it was just like pure being or something. And it was ever present and that experience stayed with me for a few days afterwards and completely changed my experience to everything at the time.

It was incredibly painful when it ended, actually, because it felt like a big contraction that came back in. But from the experience, I took this kind of assurance that this is always there that can be connected to it at any moment and kind of lose your way at times with having children and work and moving and all this kind of life stuff.

But I know that if I want to, or I just have to tap in, I just have to go back there almost. It sounds quite odd, I suppose. It may sound odd, I don't know, you tell me, but it doesn't sound odd.

It sounds totally reasonable. It's probably something I'm gonna have to ask you about when I get my head around it and start trying to sort my life out and actually do my meditation and bits and pieces.

'Cause I know that a lot of people really benefit from it and I'm sure that I would. So yeah, I definitely need to speak to you about that. - Yeah, and this is good stuff as well. Like I say, like Yoga Nidra, there's some really good guided meditations there and like meta practice, like loving kindness, meditation.

I mean, there's a lot of good visualization practices that keep your brain active and are incredibly powerful as well, as well as things like self-inquiry for a number of years, which is incredibly powerful and like death meditation.

I did that as well for a year or more. And that's more of a contemplation, I suppose you'd call it rather than a meditation, but that's it, that's one. That's one when you can feel that embodied sense of your mortality and your finite time on this planet and when you can feel it and, how can you hear me?

- Hey, I was losing you quite badly there. You sounded like a robot. But it's okay because we do have, because of how I record, we'll have that locally. So I won't hear you, but you sort of ordered it.

- You cut out a couple of times as well, but it kind of, I just left it and it kept going and eventually you came back in. But I'm not sure why particularly, hopefully that got caught anyway.

- I'm sure it will do. - I was just telling people about the meaning of life, the absolute secret of it was not to say. If you've missed it, mate, I'm very sorry. - That's tough shit. - Tough shit, oh well, I'll get it on the next time round.

- That's it, there's always next time. - It's been really cool chatting to you, mate. I'll try and keep these under a couple of hours. We could go on all day, but it's been really, really good, covered so many different topics.

We didn't get too much into the Bitcoin stuff, but yeah, it's been really nice to catch up and good to hear that you're doing well as well, through all this bullshit. - Yeah, thank you so much.

Yeah, I'm really happy that we finally got a chance to do this. It's been a long time coming. So thank you for the opportunity to come in here and chat, it's been awesome. Really enjoyed it and see those fears that I had when we booked it were completely bullshit and they were proven to be bullshit.

So exactly, it's funny. So thank you so much, it's really cool to be here. - Yeah, no problem. When worker people find you, Twitter and... - Yeah, so I'm really just on Twitter at the moment.

I'm gonna be building a website in probably a couple of months. So on Twitter, I am Black Dog Alchemy, which is a whole story in itself as to how I landed on Black Dog Alchemy for another time.

But yeah, so on Twitter, Black Dog Alchemy, you'll find me there and yet feel free if you've enjoyed this conversation, drop me a DM and say hello. Always interested to talk to cool people out there.

- Nice one, mate. Well, yeah, thanks again and I'm sure we'll catch up soon. I'll be in your DMs asking about all sorts of things, but yeah, thanks for coming on and we'll catch up soon. - Nice one, mate.

Thank you so much, you take care.